Divorce Law and Procedure

CHAPTER 1. FIRST THINGS

We are not going to ask you whether you are sure – but are you? Have you thought about just separating? Maybe you should read Chapter 8 now, which explains how you can enter into a separation agreement and then think things out by living apart, or apply to the court for a judicial separation, which would allow you to apply to the court for financial orders if needed, but still leave you married. The decision to end a marriage, especially if children are involved, should not be taken lightly.

If you are resolute in your decision to divorce however, there are important things you need to think about. You have to work out what is going to be right for you and any children you need to make arrangements for. Your objective has to be not to end up with a broken family, but with an extended family. Do not just desperately think about getting out from under an unhappy and stressful situation and marriage as soon as possible. There are a lot of things you need to think through carefully. You do not want to trade one set of problems for others.

You must try to put emotion aside and think through the reality of living apart from your ex. How is this going to affect your financial situation? Will you be able to maintain yourself or will need to claim maintenance? Where are you going to live? Will you need to make other housing arrangements? Would you be able to get your ex to leave the home or where would you go if you decide to leave? And just as important as these questions, ask yourself whether you can handle the consequences of being divorced and what your plans are for the future.

None of these should be spur of the moment decisions simply to get away from a difficult relationship. You could end up making things worse rather than better, and just exchanging
one set of problems for others. Getting divorced does not just involve the legal steps we can advise you upon in this book, but also emotional and practical issues.

Once you have decided to end your relationship, you must get organized. This will help you feel more secure emotionally and financially. It is going to be time-consuming, and this list will not cover everything for everyone. You will however need to:

 open your own bank account;
 amend your will if you have one, and if not, consider making a will;
 make a list of everything in the house, such as furniture and personal items and all other
family assets, including vehicles and other property;
 prepare a list of debts and money owed on HP and credit agreements, credit cards and
bank overdrafts et cetera, for which you are liable;
 if you own your home, find out how much is owing on the mortgage;
 if you are renting your home, find out whose names are on the lease;

 make a note of household accounts in your partner’s name;

 consider whether you need to open new accounts for personal items such as your mo-
bile phone.

There are documents and papers which you should secure and hold the originals or take copies whilst you have the opportunity:

 the marriage certificate,
 your passport and passports for children,
 birth certificates,
 bank statements for the past 12 months,
 last tax return and notice of assessment,
 titles of ownership and property deeds,
 pension Cash Equivalent Transfer Value (CETV),
 loan agreements,
 guarantees,
 wills,
 car registration, engine number, vehicle identification number and current value,
 mortgage and property details (e.g. council rates),
 rental agreement,
 insurance policies (e.g. home, contents, car, and superannuation details).

You must give serious and realistic thought to your financial situation and how much money you are going to need to live on. What benefits are going to be available? Consider whether you need to go back to studying, seek or change your employment or start your own business.

Read Chapter 5 below, which deals with the legal steps you may need to take early on. Are any of these going to be necessary, and if so, are you prepared and feeling confident enough to take them?